Is Exclusively Pumping Affecting Your Mental Health?

Is it really breastfeeding if I have to exclusively pump? 

Am I doing this right? 

Is it worth my sanity?

I asked myself these questions so many times. To say they messed with my mind for months is an understatement.

As moms, we want to be sure we're giving our LOs everything they need to be happy and healthy. For three months, my daughter tried to drink from my breast. Clog after clog, from milk blubs to torn nipples, I dreaded feedings. I wanted to love it. It seemed so easy for most. Why did breastfeeding cause so much pain?

It turned out that my daughter is tongue-tied, which made it very difficult for her to latch. I was told that pumping exclusively would be best for our situation, as I still wanted her to be able to drink breastmilk for as long as possible in her first year.

Looking back, I'm glad I made the decision to pump exclusively, but it wasn't an easy choice to stick with. 

I doubted my ability to keep up with it day in and day out. 

No matter your situation, exclusively breastfeeding takes a toll and can put a strain on your own mental health. It certainly did for me. 

I hope that sharing my experiences with you will help you overcome the emotional rollercoaster that can come with pumping exclusively. 

 

Things Exclusively Pumping Moms Think That Mess with Their Already Tired Mommy Brains: 

Please see a medical professional for any and all questions regarding breastfeeding/pumping, 

as this post is based solely on my own personal experiences. 

"Am I missing out on bonding time?"

Holding your baby close is one of the most comforting and beautiful things a mother can experience. When you're told you need to pump exclusively, it can feel like you're missing out on valuable skin-to-skin time. You worry that your child won't have the same level of safety and support that a breastfed baby might experience.

Thankfully, this isn't the case. Babies are so happy to just be held by you! It doesn't matter to them if the milk is coming directly from you or from a bottle you pumped into. No matter what, the moments when they stare up at you, reach up to swat at your nose or snuggle into the crook of your arm make those worries float away.

You're there for them either way. You're bonding.

"Making food for my LO is all I have time for."

Between pumping, bottle feeding, and eventually solids, it can feel like all we do all day long is prepare food for our LO. 

Moms who need to pump often do so when baby is napping. It's better than being plugged into a wall while our LO is up and looking for attention, but it robs us of the moments we desperately need for our own mental wellbeing. 

That's why it's SO IMPORTANT for you to make time for yourself! 

Instead, use your time spent pumping to do a little something for YOU. 

I HIGHLY recommend a hands-free pumping bra, but if you don't have one, many of these ideas don't require hands at all. 

Practicing Self-Care While Pumping: 

1. Listen to a podcast
2. Stretch
3. Journal
4. Doodle
5. Sit down and savor a cup of tea or coffee  (even if it's decaf)
6. Play your favorite album
7. Have your favorite treat 
8. Call a family member or friend just to chat
9. Put on a little makeup
10. Take 10 deep breaths 

Check out Six Ways to Not Waste Your Time While Pumping for more tips and examples!

"I'm too exhausted to pump again."

"Sleep when the baby sleeps," is the advice I hear ALL. THE. TIME. 

If you're an exclusive pumper, you know that a baby's nap times are often your only time to get a good pump that will leave you feeling "empty." 

Little to no sleep can really mess with your mind. So while it can be frustrating to hear that cliche advice, it is important to try to sneak in a nap if you can. Try working one into your schedule each day. Sometimes having a set time and plan can help you commit to actually laying down for a moment. 

Remember, our pumping sessions are often more successful when we're more relaxed, so it's worth trying to snag even a quick 15-minute power nap. 

"No one can do this but me."

Exclusively pumping can make you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. If you don't pump, if you can't produce enough milk, if you stopped altogether, you've failed. 

We need to put those thoughts out of our minds, Mamas! Whatever you can do IS ENOUGH. 

Plus, a HUGE pro to pumping is that while only you can make the milk, other people can help by giving our LOs a bottle or two. Sure, it's a (well deserved) break for us, but it also gives others a chance to bond with baby. We love to see that socialization (especially for my fellow 2020 Quarantine babies out there)! 💜

"More pumping = Greater supply!" 

For a time, this was one of my biggest worries. Even if I was overproducing, I refused to allow myself to cut back on pumping "just in case" my baby might one day need more. 

This led to pumping way more than I needed to, causing over engorgement and pain. My tiny apartment freezer became so full that I convinced my husband to buy a second, dorm-room-sized full-on freezer. 😳

Having this much of a stash can seem great at first, but I wasn't using any of it. The frozen milk was always just there in case of a rainy day. 

The emotional toll of overproducing ended up messing with my mind way more than it ever put it at ease. 

Eventually, I agreed to start cutting down on the amount of time I spend plugged in. If I no longer felt full, if I felt comfortable, it was time to stop. 

This dramatically helped me both physically and mentally. I was able to add a few extra minutes back into my life outside of pumping.  

********

To all my fellow exclusively pumping moms: Your thoughts are valid and heard. While we always put our baby's needs first, let's be sure to take some time to take care of ourselves too. You deserve it.