Confidence is not an "either-or". It's not something we're born with or without. Only our experiences can influence our own self-confidence That, my friends, is where parenting can do a world of good.
So how do we raise confident children? Based on my observations and many conversations with parents over the years mixed with a bit of personal experience, I suggest trying a few if not all of the following things.
1. Allow Kids To Take Ownership of Homework Struggles
While whether or not to assign homework is a hot topic in education right now, the fact is that we can use homework as a tool for helping our children be self-advocates.Too many times, parents tell me of the arguments and tear fests that ruin an evening because the homework is "too hard." What's the worst thing we can do as parents? One is to yell at our children about how to do the work or force them to finish. The other is emailing the teacher on their behalf. Please don't do either of these, I beg you.
Instead try this: Have your child write their teacher a brief note explaining what exactly they're stuck on. I encourage my students to do so on a brightly colored Post-It Note and stick it right on the homework page. I recommend these lined Post-Its for added neatness. This encourages students to approach their teachers with a specific question.
Even if the homework is unfinished, trust me when I say teachers will appreciate the students' ability to communicate what's frustrating them. In turn, students' confidence often soars once they see that they can get the help they need if only they advocate for themselves. Give it a try and let me know how it goes in the comments below!